The Rating Game by Reba Toney
First line: “Back in 2004, my closet was already jam-packed.”
Before you roll your eyes and say, “not another dating book,” hear me out. This one is not a me-too, knock-off on how to find a man. This is a psychology book packaged in a marketable formula. Okay, it’s a slight stretch to call it a pysch book but if you look beneath the layers, it’s evolutionary psychology at its finest. People choose people who are on the same level as they are. This is why I believe in the mantra, “someone for everyone.” In the “rating game” there is someone for everyone. Twos can unite with twos and tens with tens. Toney goes so far as to review celebrity pairing to tell us who is “dating up” and who is “dating down”. A third category, she says, is called “dating denial.” Either you aren’t dating enough or are in denial about why you are frustrated with dating, which she claims is because you aren’t dating someone on the same “level” as you are. Toney’s system breaks the rating game into four categories – face, body, life situation and personality. You don’t have to be a match for each category, but when you add up your points and divide by 4, she insists the closer you are in numbers, the better your chance for survival.
I actually saw this type of experiment on a science show on cable recently, and just like in real life, the “numbers” tried to match with someone who ranked higher than their own number, but ended up matching with someone on the same level, or one ahead or one behind their own number. Fascinating.
This makes total sense to me. While I may disagree with her assessments on celeb pairings such as her claim that Jennifer Aniston was “dating down” with Brad Pitt (I think it’s the other way around), I do think finding our “equal” to share a life with is important and we do consider things such as looks, personality and success. If we assess our goals, then we are more certain to attract and stick with the “right person” versus the “good until something better comes along” person.
Toney’s writing is extremely readable and easy to absorb. I read it in an evening and I enjoyed doing the “match” profile for my husband and me. Yeah, we’re well-matched, which is evidenced in our fifteenth anniversary this summer. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR THE SINGLE READERS!
For: Finding and improving your chances of success based on rating yourself and your potential partners. Time to play the rating game! – Malena Lott