by Malena Lott
In his talk about the forgotten virtue of loyalty, the pastor asked us if we are loyal to our friends. Since we’re encouraged to “talk it over” this week, I thought I’d toss the question to you. His points are valid – often we think we are being loyal, but our actions say otherwise.

Women can be cruel, especially to women who are casual acquaintances and we haven’t formed a bond beyond our kids going to school together. I’m talking about gossip and Lord knows I’ve done my fair share of it. While I’d like to say I’ve worked on it, I find myself wanting to text, call or e-mail someone to share news I’ve heard that would most definitely be construed as gossipy or fall directly in the NONE OF MY BUSINESS category. Awareness does work wonders. I caught myself before speaking badly about someone the other day, and felt both guilty that I’d nearly slipped and then proud of myself that I kept it to myself.

Loyalty goes beyond not just talking about people behind their backs. True friendship means you are there for them in good times and in bad, but we’re so busy, who has time for togetherness? Girls night outs can be expensive, which is why I’m so in favor of girls nights in and book clubs, but then that creates issues of, you know, kicking the rest of the family out of the house if you’re the host. Our schedules are packed and we find it’s hard to be there for our friends who we genuinely love, even when they are in distress.

The answer? I say put it on the to-do list. Schedule time with friends, and if your friend is down, do something. Touch base. Connect. Listen. (Don’t give advice.) The opposite is true, too. If something great happens to your friend, be happy for them. Celebrate and kill the green-eyed beast of envy. Stick up for them, support them and tell them how proud you are of them. I find I require weekly pep talks by my friends (and web sites and blogs), and without them, some days I’d have no pep at all.

I’m in favor of lifting each other up. It really does lighten the load of life. I’m grateful every day for such great friends. I just need to show it more.

If you’re a fan of the Sex and the City franchise, consider a girls night out of movie, dinner and drinks. I’m putting one together in OKC. The movie opens May 27th and it’s about friendship, fun and fashion. I love watching it with girlfriends. They Sex and the City foursome demonstrates beautiful loyalty to each other. Here’s the trailer:

What can you do to show your loyalty to your friends?

(pictured with author friend Jenny Gardiner.)