Each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality, tragically divided against ourselves. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963
Women are wonderful and peculiar creatures. Despite unprecedented opportunities in all spheres of daily living, women are becoming increasingly unhappy, less satisfied, and less fulfilled in their lives. We got lost on the path to “having it all” when we believed that the only way to do so was to be perfectly balanced and accomplished in all areas: wife, mother, career, civic, and social. Because of this distorted belief, women have experienced unnecessary feelings of failure, self-doubt, and shame. When presented with an assessment of strengths and weaknesses, most women will immediately look to remediate their weakness instead of looking to use their strengths to their advantage. While this approach may be the proper path to becoming “balanced”, it is unlikely to lead to happiness or contentment. The answer might be found in becoming strategically unbalanced; that is, by shifting our lives more heavily to our areas of strength.
In his book, Find Your Strongest Life, Mr. Buckingham provides a different model for “having it all” (defined as “drawing enough strength from life to feel fulfilled, loved, successful, and in control) then provides a set of different “Strength” based tactics to accomplish this. He utilizes an online strength assessment to help determine “the role you were born to play.” (www.stronglifetest.com) Overall, this book is very accessible, addresses numerous real-life situations faced by today’s women, and provides workable solutions and suggestions for all. The shift in focus from “Balance” to “Fullness” by focusing on “capturing moments that bring strength” feels both intuitive and empowering. This book will be beneficial for all women who are stuck in the search for “elusive perfection” amid the bounty of choices available to us.
What areas of your life make you feel strong? What could you do to capitalize more fully on your strengths?
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“failure, self-doubt, and shame”
You just described my morning before coffee.
But seriously, thank you for the rec. I’ll definitely add it to my list.
Lovely post! I have found, in my life, the times when I was focused on strengthening my weaknesses, were in fact, the times when I was the most miserable. I am a firm believer in focusing on the strengths I have and acceptence of my weaknesses as a crucial part of who I am. I am so much happier today because of it. Thanks so much for this wonderfully enlightening post!
I love the question you pose at the end of your post: “What areas of your life make you feel strong? What could you do to capitalize more fully on your strengths?”
Now, if I can just figure out how to answer that question for myself! I have a feeling that’s not a good sign.
That book sounds like it’s right up my alley. I’m guilty of trying to fix my weaknesses and only recently have I started letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic to me. Welcome to book end babes!!
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Love the message that we don’t have to try to be perfect. And this is so timely for me personally – I hung a charm in my car yesterday that says “strength” and recently tattooed “thankful” on my wrist.
This book sounds like great info!
*whining* I wanna feel empowered!
Wonderful post! Can’t wait to go stronglifetest.com and see what Mr. Buckingham considers my strength to be. Hopefully he’ll say organization and the ability to laugh in the face of adversity.
I interviewed for my current job and mentioned that I sought balance in my life. The two male partners laughed and looked at each other saying, “Balance? What’s that?”
They were right. There’s no such thing when you’re trying to do it all! And yet . . . I try. I’ll be picking this book up on my next B&N run.
I’m guilty of trying to do too much. When I’m overwhelmed I tend to look to the wrong side of my abilities and doubt myself. This book sounds like a great place to start looking a my life differently. Thanks.
Guilty as charged
I have extra guilt issues as a southern woman, raised to be polite and demure. Boy, were they surprised when I turned out this way! 
I’ll check out the book next time I’m at the bookstore!
I love the idea of being “strategically unbalanced.” I’m incorporating that term into my vocabulary this instant!
This sounds like a book for me. I tend to bite off more than I can chew sometimes. I really do need to focus on strengthening my weaknesses as well.
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