For 45 years (yes, even in utero – I was a very advanced zygote), I knew I was a feminist, and until now, I thought I knew why.

I was wrong. Caitlin Moran has set me straight.

According to Moran, in her HILARITASTICAL tome, How To Be A Woman – it’s much simpler than I thought. Basically, it boils down to two questions:

1) Do you have a vagina, and
2) Do you want to be in charge of it?

(And yes, your answer should be in the affirmative – unless you are a robot prostitute.)

I laughed out loud over and over as Moran lead me through her strange (and therefore totally relate-able) puberty, teenage years as a rock critic (who wasn’t?), to today as a woman and mother I would totally be best friends with as we openly mocked the evil, botoxed PTA moms while picking up our kids from school.

She uses adorably British phrases like “too shouty,” answers the question I have always struggled with - what can I call my hoohah without sounding like an six year-old boy who giggles at the word ‘unit?’ – and she swears a LOT.  She’s controversial (I wouldn’t have it any other way), funny and frank.  I kept hearing the voice of the brilliant comedian Dawn French narrating as I read.

Caitlin Moran may be the smartest woman I know. And if you’re a woman, or know a woman, or maybe even just see them on the street occasionally and wonder “what are those mysterious goddess-creatures, and am I wearing enough tinfoil on my head?” – this book is for you.

How To Be A Woman was Book of the Year at the Galaxy Awards in the UK and has just now been published. I just hope she goes on tour in the US. I’ll be the first one in line, of course.

Read it.