Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood

Posted on June 4, 2013 by Matt Rathbun

Michael Lewis

By the time you read this review, I will be 3 days away from being a father all over again. We are having a little boy and the doctor has decided that he has incubated long enough. Our only other child is a 15 year-old girl and so needless to say, it has been quite awhile since we did this whole “baby” thing. I must say that technology has changed quite a bit in 15 years. A wind up swing has been replaced with a never ending, wall powered, iPod compatible, flashing lights and massage contraption. I am sure that junior will be hammering out differential equations in a week with all that stimulation. One of the other things that I remember from our first baby was reading a book by Paul Reiser named “Babyhood”. It injected a sorely needed bit of humor into some anxious times. New babies call for new books and so I found this one on Amazon that promised some good laughs. What I found was a very different yet still humorous look into the life and expectations of one dad.

Michael Lewis is an accomplished writer; however, his other books have absolutely nothing to do with the subject of fatherhood. Michael normally writes about money, investing and other topics related to finance and monetary systems. During the birth of his three children, lucky for us, Michael kept a journal. This book is the essence of that journal and the thoughts that accompany what seems to be a wild ride in his early years of fatherhood. Michael has a very unique way of relating stories that really hit home with me. These gentle lessons in his life are told through a series of humorous stories. I am amazed that his wife let him publish them to be quite honest. In one of the stories he tells of how his 3-year-old daughter unleashes a string of profanities at a group of older kids who were picking on her younger brother. As the bullies return she tells them she peed in the pool to keep them away! Michael, who is watching this unfold from across the pool is too embarrassed to intervene. Part of him wants to scold her, but deep down inside all he can do is admire her courage and laugh.. and so can the rest of us.

As a father, Michael struggles to find his place in the family and to decide what kind of a father he should be. He struggles with the notion of being the hard nosed disciplinarian yet at the same time secretly yearns for the comfort of abandonment and humor. Michael gives away guy secrets (man code) in some of the rationalizations because he expresses what guys think yet seldom say out loud. Or should I say would NEVER say out loud. Sometimes we feel like we play second fiddle to mom and kids and that we really are just go-fors. Although we understand that our role is much bigger, we never loose the fear of being the dreaded “Mr. Irrelevant”. It is our ego that defends us and makes for great stories!

This book is about fatherhood, but is written in a way that anyone.. man or woman, baby or no baby can get something from. It is truly a well written funny collection of stories designed to entertain and educate. Maybe you are a woman who wants some insight or maybe you just need a last minute father’s day gift for that special dad… In either case, I recommend this book.

Defending Jacob by William Landay

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Matt Rathbun

Defending Jacob
by William Landay

I grew up with a defense attorney for a father. My father started his private practice when I was very young and held that occupation until his retirement. I must say that it had certain perks! I was known to get out of a few speeding tickets when I was younger.. well.. more than a few. I did learn many things about the courtroom and the legal process. From a very young age I helped in his office doing things where I could. Usually this involved cleaning or computer repair, but as I grew older I became more involved with some of the cases. I saw the time and emotion involved with the defendants and with the families of victims. Murder cases were especially hard. It takes a special person to be able to do that type of work. It never occurred to me what would have happened if “I” was ever accused of murder being the son of an attorney. This essentially was the foundation for William Landay’s novel Defending Jacob.

Murders were extremely rare in a small suburban community outside of Boston. The community normally known for quiet living and great schools is turned upside down when a 14 year old boy is found stabbed to death on his way to school. Andy Barber is the 22 year veteran assistant district attorney assigned to the case. Andy is well respected in the community and vows to find the killer. Andy works through a list of suspects but comes up empty handed. As days pass with no suspects and no leads the town demands an answer. As Andy explores the possibility that another child may be the killer he is suddenly removed from the case. Andy is told that his own son Jacob is the prime suspect in the town’s latest murder. As circumstantial evidence mounts, Andy and his wife Laurie must do everything in their power to prove their son’s innocence.

The novel is very well written and includes intense dialog and emotions. The author strings together a personal look into the grief of one family and the frantic emotions of another. It explores the limits of a parent’s belief in the innocence of their child. Is there a difference between love and truth? Did Jacob really commit this crime or is it just the political pressure from an ambitious district attorney to find somebody.. anybody.. to be a suspect.

I completely recommend this book to anyone looking for a great crime drama with an emotional twist. And speaking of twists, just wait til the end.. GO READ IT!!!

George Washington’s War – Robert Leckie

Posted on July 4, 2012 by Tiffani Hill-Patterson

Today I want to share my favorite book about America, George Washington’s War: The Saga of the American Revolution, and while it was published 20 years ago, it is as moving today as it was when I first read it in 2000.

I was living in Dallas, working as a sports copy editor for the Dallas Morning News. I went to see The Patriot (I miss Heath Ledger) and afterward was thirsting for more about the American Revolution. I found George Washington’s War by Robert Leckie, and once I started reading, I could not stop. I sat in my garage reading, I read on my breaks at work, during dinner, while waiting for the press to run, at the hair salon, while riding in the car. I used a Hershey bar wrapper as a bookmark.

Unlike other books about the birth of the United States, this was fabulous. Not boring. Not dry. Not sleep-inducing. It was interesting, easy to read, and offered meaty biographical details on the main players in the war. This is no history book – it is much juicier. George and Martha (I didn’t know that the “father of our country” had no biological children with Martha), Thomas Paine, John Adams, Benedict Arnold (traitor, but … ), Patrick Henry, Sam Adams (thanks for the beer!), Paul Revere … it’s all here.

The amount of research that went into this is incredible. I learned more about the events that led up to our independence from Britain in these 688 pages than I learned in years of school. The maps showed me where our freedom grew and blossomed, fed by the sacrifices of farmers, merchants, blacksmiths, doctors, cooks, men and women who faced their fears in order to form a more perfect union.

Thinking about the courage and conviction these first Americans displayed overwhelms me. The odds they faced were unbelievable. Yet, here I am, in my little Southern neighborhood, typing away on the internet, free to speak my mind and write down my thoughts, hit publish and share them with the rest of the country, even the world.

So while you’re enjoying your baseball, hot dogs, and apple pie, remember why we’re lighting sparklers and firecrackers. And maybe sing a little of the Star-Spangled Banner, watch 1776, and pick up George Washington’s War.

What are your favorite things about America? Mine are blue jeans, Coca-Cola, college football, and rock ’n’ roll.

Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity – Joel Stein

Posted on June 20, 2012 by Jodi Lustig

Father’s Day has come and gone, but there’s always time to bond with a man who’s existentially-challenged by the awesome responsibilities of fatherhood. And by bond, I mean laugh at, laugh with, and mock profusely. Which is not easy to do when the laughing at and with makes tears stream down your face and blinds you.

Seriously, do not read this book anywhere folks expect you to be quiet. It’s not silent reading material. And really, is anyone giddy enough these days to squander any laughter in the name of good manners?

The premise is this: Joel Stein sets out to become the manly man he never was when he finds out he and his wife are having a son. If you’ve read his columns in Time or the LA Times, you’re familiar with the love of show tunes and styling products that makes the birth of a boy-child so epically daunting to Stein. As he likes to say in his television interviews–and mentions frequently in the book (along with his very impressive SAT scores)–he had a collection of glass miniatures when he was a kid. I like to imagine lots of unicorns.

I’m sure I can’t do justice to the man with a few colorful quips of my own, but I’m going to woman up and do it anyway. But first, I’ll give you his introduction. As a parent of no one unfurry, I find his angst strangely touching. A hopeful sign that the freaking out isn’t a one-woman show anymore.

This is not how a man feels.

I should be lighting a cigar, high-fiving the doctor, and grabbing my genitals to celebrate that my sperm are manly, even for sperm. But when I look at the tiny splotch of Doppler weather pattern on the screen and Cassandra’s obstetrician says it means we’re probably having a boy, I do not do any of these things. Instead, I have my first panic attack–my hearing and vision receding, my heart pumping as if I were doing something manly that makes your heart pump. Which I am not. I am merely picturing having to go camping and fix a car and use a hammer and throw a football and figure out whether to be sad or happy about the results of said football throwing.

I have to sit on my hands to keep myself from quoting more here. There’s probably some plagiarism fair use principle at stake, and Stein is nothing if not shamelessly earnest about his efforts to get us to buy his book. And I like him too much to be a bad discouraging influence on that front. Plus, the more I quote the greater the odds I will misquote and no one wants that.

But I will say this: Man Made includes the funniest description of the birthing experience from the male perspective ever. Yes, in the history of mankind. I’m talking funnier than Seth Rogen in Knocked Up and the whole pantheon of “Ohmigod he fainted!” nonsense.

Each chapter chronicles Stein’s attempts to master one classically masculine domain. The Boy Scouts to go camping. (Not that he wanted to be one when he was a kid, but his mom thought they were a fascist organization, so it wasn’t happening anyway.) A few days with his local firefighters. Baseball immersion with his buddy Shawn Green, a former pro leaguer and two-time All-Star whose name I actually recognized. (When you’re Jewish, it’s easy to know who your fellow pro sportsmen are.)

The only adventure I would have warned him off of was roof-fixing and general handyman skills with his father-in-law, who Stein seems to have a perfectly lovely relationship with but is still his FATHER-IN-LAW. Happily, all parties including Stein seem to know who they are and exactly who they’re dealing with, and maybe that’s the key to familial harmony. Or at least family comedy. Let’s face it. Everyone who knows a writer has to come to terms with the fact they’re going to end up in a story one way or another unless they flee the country.

Stein doesn’t make anyone sorry for sticking around. He’s got a generous heart and light touch, and like all good comedians–or at least the ones that remain married and reasonably-friended–he saves his sharpest knives for himself. And did I mention he’s funny?

Man Made made me feel like I knew the men in life a little bit better. I’ve been reading them parts, asking them stuff I might have felt stupid about asking if not for the more bravely stupid man whose work I was reading.

I hope I can get my dad to read it as a belated Father’s Day present. But it already did the job in a way by giving us something to talk about besides the Tea Party or Obama. (Pretty much off the table these days.) The good news: unlike the Lambo Superleggera the Lamborghini PR people let Joel Stein test drive, my dad’s sports car doesn’t have its own fire extinguisher. Even better, he’s glad that it doesn’t need one.