In looking for something to feature on Wine Wednesday, I ran across this adorable wine stopper with the engraving LIQUID HAPPINESS. I thought it was the perfect showcase since one of our Top Picks this month is THE HAPPINESS PROJECT. (which I hope you are reading and doing by the way!) It would make a great gift for a girlfriend’s birthday (along with a great bottle of vino) or as a door prize at your next book club party!
Get one here from ediblegiftsplus.com. ($9.50 each)
by Mari Farthing, Book End Babe Chapter 1 Member
We’ve all got something to say. But let’s be clear: not all of us are writers.
Is that too harsh to say? Well, the good news is that writers are often bred, not born. This is especially true when it comes to freelance writing. Many common factors are bringing people to freelance writing. The bad economy, the search for secondary or new sources of income and the draw of a career as a writer are enticing. Add to that the instant delivery system that is the internet, and it seems an easy career choice.
These factors can work against a budding freelancer. As the editor of a locally-based parenting publication, I receive many submissions over the course of the week. Some of these I read and I’ve found great writers based on these email submissions. In fact, I found my first freelancing gig (at the publication where I am now the editor) through a cold e-mail.
It’s not uncommon for freelancers to forge long, successful partnerships with local publications that can be expanded to a national career based on reprints and more cold submissions. But just as easily, these submissions can lead to nothing. There are many factors that cause an editor to read a query, and just as many that cause that same editor to quickly hit the delete key.
So how do you make yourself stand out as a great writer? There are a few tips you can follow that will make a huge difference in your queries.
· Identify yourself. Include some information about yourself in your query. My name is Mari, I live in Oklahoma City – editors want to know that. Especially when you are sending information to local publications which tend to skew to local writers.
· Don’t spam. If I see a writer is addressing me (as opposed to “undisclosed recipients”) I’m much more likely to keep reading.
· Write well. Use proper grammar. Try to avoid slang or vernacular unless it’s very tied to your topic.
· Be personable but not personal. I want to get some clues to your personality (the editor/writer relationship is a close one) but I don’t want to know too much about you right away. Save something for later.
· Be concise. If you choose to paste an article in your email, that’s great; but lead your email with an engaging few sentences that make me want to read your article.
· Clean it up! We all cut and paste to save time and energy, but please be sure that the fonts, sizes, spacing, etc., are neat and orderly. An email that is obviously patched together is not one I want to read.
Among other things, Mari Farthing is the Editor at MetroFamily Magazine in Oklahoma City (MetroFamilyMagazine.com). She also maintains a personal blog at MariMargene.Blogspot.com.
by Malena Lott
In yesterday’s video reveal of our February Top Picks, I explained that Book End Babes will be hosting our own Happiness Project on our Facebook group for the next 12 weeks. THE HAPPINESS PROJECT by Gretchen Rubin is a February Top Pick and is our source for our HP series. I downloaded the group Happiness Project kit, which outlines our 12 weeks we’ll be spending together searching for our own personal happiness. Why do I want to do this? Let me count the ways.
1. I love men, but I’m a woman and therefore the woman’s journey is an important part of my life and purpose. I love to write about it, I love to explore it, and I love to inspire women to find their purpose and live a passionate life. The journey looks different for each woman, which is why it’s so interesting to see where those roads lead.
2. Happiness is a funny word. I’ve studied a lot of Eastern philosophies and have come to believe that “happiness” isn’t the ultimate goal, but that peace and living a full life WITHIN the turmoil and troubles that life hands us is the mark of an enriched life. Despite a tumultuous early childhood, I’ve always considered myself a “happy person.” Yet I was happy and anxious. Happy and worried. Happy and obsessive. So my own journey has been getting rid of those unwanted things to feel peace and within even the mundane moments I can find a sort of happiness that looks nothing like a Snoopy dance. So I am intrigued by Gretchen’s journey and hope to see how hers can make me better understand my own.
3. One whack at the bat. Unless you believe in reincarnation, you only get one whack at the bat when it comes to your life. One chance to get things figured out and living the best life for you (whether that’s big or small or trapezoid or square). Let’s decide right here and now that you may get one baseball game, seven innings and many strikes at the bat to figure out what your authentic life should look like for you. THIS is why I think it’s a good way to spend our time, reflecting and weeding out the stuff getting in our way and pruning and planting the good stuff. It’s 12 weeks to make a positive difference in your life.
4. Women need each other. As is our mission at Book End Babes, books rock, girlfriends rule. We need to help support each other in our journeys, lose the guilt and the judgement and go for it. I’m here for you. I hope you really will use our Facebook group and these weekly lessons to share and build the life you’ve always wanted or decide you want from here on out. Doing things together makes us not feel so alone.
Huge thanks to Gretchen Rubin for writing this fabulous book and creating this foundation for our discussion and our journeys. Visit her website here and click on the the book cover in our sidebar to the right to get the book or visit your favorite retailer so we can begin TODAY! Gretchen tested the theories and wisdom of great leaders so we aren’t starting from scratch here. Atta-babe Gretchen! We salute you.
by Malena Lott
We pay so much attention to the weather, letting it dictate not only our wardrobe choice, but literally steering the direction of our lives. I’d like to propose a different sort of forecast – one that calls for friends, rain, snow, sleet or shine! Because let’s face it – we don’t spend NEARLY enough time with our friends and friends = happiness.
My theme for 2010 is relationships and that includes spending more time with my girlfriends. It doesn’t just “happen”. You have to schedule it. So far I’ve already lunched, martini’ed and muffined with several girlfriends and thanks to Book End Babes I get to meet new friends offline as well as at our real-life book club meetings.
This weekend – no, how does now work for you? – pick up the phone or text a girlfriend and MAKE SOLID PLANS to get together. None of this – >we’ll get together soon – and then months past and you *still* haven’t gotten together. Don’t let life pass you by and let your friendships slip away.
You both deserve more than that. Give me a shout. I’d love to hear what you have planned with your girlfriends!
xo,
Malena
Note from the editor: Side Dish essays are a way to explore the topics of girlfriends, books and entertaining, submitted by authors and Book End Babe book club members. Today kicks off TAINTED week. TAINTED is a January Top Pick, and a debut psychological thriller. The author’s voice, intriguing characters and creative plot made TAINTED a one-sit read for me! I hope you’ll take the time to get to know more about TAINTED this week and introduce it to your book club. You can find out more about the book by clicking on the cover image in the sidebar. PEOPLE magazine said: “[T]his sneak-up-on-you page-turner packs a suspenseful wallop that will chill your soul.” I totally agree. – ML
by Brooke Morgan
Soon after I moved from Boston to London, I realized I was missing a crucial ingredient in my life – female friends. How was I supposed to find them, especially when I wrote at home alone?
And then, boom – I was at a cocktail party and saw this strawberry blonde woman surrounded by a group. I edged in. “Should I marry the man who bought me this dress?” she asked and I thought: first of all – no, don’t marry him – the dress is O.K. but not gorgeous, and secondly: you have to be my friend.
I’d already learned that Englishwomen could be stand-offish. They thought American women who tried to make friends right away were too pushy. So what was the best way to approach her?
The tragic truth is that I stalked her. I found out her name and where she worked and at lunchtimes I’d walk by her office hoping to accidentally on purpose bump into her. After three failed attempts, I did – on a snowy day. Within minutes she was telling me about the man she was desperately in love with: an unobtainable hunk named, honestly, Storm – who wasn’t the one who bought the dress. The man who bought the dress was a boring banker.
Storm disappeared from the scene, but Sally stayed and became my best friend. Awhile ago, I introduced her to a guy I know and they are now having a tempestuous, passionate romance. After one of their periodical huge fights, we’ll meet up and she’ll say: “I should have married the dress man.” And then we order another glass of wine.
by guest author Carrie Lofty
I know that Book End Babes is all about girlfriends, especially with regard to reading. But I wonder if readers understand just how important girlfriends are to writing books, too!
My best friend and college roommate used to read my partially completed manuscripts. She would get upset when I’d inevitably stop around page one hundred. She believed in my stories and wanted more! In December 2008, upon the publication of my debut, What a Scoundrel Wants, she left messages on my phone whenever she found my book on the shelves. Meijer, Wal-Mart, Barnes & Noble–I practically figured out her route through town by those calls. Her faith in me over all these years has been immeasurable.
For my newest release, Scoundrel’s Kiss, I have nothing but love and appreciation for the women who form my critique group. These girlfriends are not only supportive but talented! Their dedication to my success rivals my own, and they offer wonderfully insightful perspectives on my work. After all the hard work is done writing and editing, then comes the reward of my friendship with these women. Like my college roommate with her phone calls, they send me links to great reviews, send their positive vibes when poor reviews get me down, and generally celebrate in the accomplishment.
Here at home, my non-writing friends and family are equally supportive. People who don’t even read romance, such as my mother-in-law and my husband’s co-workers, pick up the book. Some may just buy it as a show of financial support, but many have expressed their admiration for what I’ve created. Maybe, in a small way, my friendship with them was enough to turn them on to romance! I love that idea.
http://www.carrielofty.com
Follow Carrie on Twitter here!
Get Scoundrel’s Kiss.
Tips for Entertaining by Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl, authors of Beautiful Creatures
Entertaining can be easy—or it can be like trying to build a raft with scotch tape. It’s all in the preparation. Gatlin, our town in Beautiful Creatures, is full of women who know their way around the kitchen (and more than a few who only think they do).
So what’s the formula for easy entertaining, Gatlin-style?
Amma, the best cook in Gatlin, would say: a whole lotta sugar, a good helpin’ a casserole, and some good old-fashioned Southern hospitality.
Here are our tips for stress-free entertaining, Amma’s way:
1. Invite people you like. We know this isn’t always practical. So if you have to invite a few nitpicky ladies from your _______________ (Fill in the blank: family, book club, church, PTA, or volunteer organization), be sure to keep them busy. Give them jobs. These ladies love to be in charge. Ask them to bring or do something that doesn’t require cooking (unless they can actually cook). Some harmless, but helpful choices are:
• Bringing drinks, paper goods, or flowers. If you’re picky, be specific. And it’s always a good idea to stay away from white paper napkins. They usually look like you “borrowed” them from your local KFC or Bojangles.
• Handling the RSVP list. Let someone else send out hundreds of e-mails to confirm if ten people or twelve are showing up at your house.
• If one of these ladies is famous (not infamous) for a particular recipe, ask her to bring it. You can ask her to bring two portions and freeze one for yourself (just don’t let her see you packing it up for your freezer).
2. Choose simple, crowd-pleasing recipes you can make ahead. There’s nothing worse than trying to make a table full of elaborate recipes right before your guests arrive. And here’s a secret: Everyone loves comfort food. Don’t bother with the latest recipe in Gourmet Magazine. Paula Dean will do just fine.
Here are a few dishes that never fail:
• Fruit salad (use fresh fruit & toss with a little orange juice or sparkling cider).
• Casseroles: ham ’n’ apple, green bean, and mac & cheese are favorites. You can also get yourself a copy of Bake until Bubbly: The Ultimate Casserole Cookbook by Clifford A. Wright, and you’ll never run out of options.
• Pies, pies, pies! Everyone loves pie. (At least, we think they do.) If you like to bake, try Amma’s Toll House Cookie Pie recipe. Buttermilk, pecan, and apple are always good Southern choices. Although it isn’t technically pie, a cobbler is easier to make and a perfect stand-in if you aren’t ready to take on a pie.
• If you want to be the talk of the town, try making Bread Pudding. You can get the recipe, and watch a video of Kami making it here: http://castergirls.com/kooking-with-kami-bread-pudding/
3. Buy attractive paper products, unless you are hosting a formal event or holiday dinner. It will make you life so much easier. On the same note, you can also use disposable aluminum baking dishes to make casseroles = easy clean up!
4. Last, but not least… if anything goes wrong, act like it was part of the plan. If you don’t freak out when things go wrong, your guests won’t either. And they probably won’t know the difference, as long as there is pie!
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Thanks, ladies!
Book babes, haven’t gotten your copy of BEAUTIFUL CREATURES yet? Um, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? Kidding. (Sort of.) Grab a copy by clicking on the link in the sidebar or at your favorite bookseller.
More ways to connect with the authors and Beautiful Creatures:
www.BeautifulCreaturestheBook.com
www.Castergirls.com
www.SomeLovesAreCursed.com
Fairy Godmother
by Iris Karas, guest author
I have had more than a few heart-to-heart talks with my fairy godmother. Under general conditions, godmothers are not permitted visibility. However, for reasons I cannot disclose, I know that Galexia is a wise ol’ broad wrapped in her iconic pink feather boa. Picture her like Mae, or at least, Bette Midler’s Mae: too much blush, and an absolutely infectious cackle of a laugh. For me, she’ll use the wand—but it isn’t really necessary, she’ll have me understand. I forgot to mention, she is sassy as hell.
I invited her for a particularly serious chat when my daughter was three days old. I had prepared my checklist of wishes for her, which included limited time in the fugly stage and having at least one real friend—to which, you-know-who responded with a bored “Oh, please. This is the big time. Don’t give me a list of things you know perfectly well will work their way out without me. C’mon, I’m busy! You think you’re my only customer?”
“Jeez, Galexia,” I pleaded. “Give me a break! I only meant that I don’t want her to turn out like….”
“Enough,” she snapped, “don’t waste wishes! How many times do you want me to remind you?”
“But—”
“Oh, all right,” my friendly fairy godmother relents. “ I can see panic has overwhelmed your normally fairly rational side. So, listen up: This little girl is already perfect and she is going to be who she is, with or without your narrow little list. So I wish you would let her grow. You go along for the ride, watch—guide, of course. Just don’t go nuts. It all works out. How many times have human families been through this?”
2/2
“Okay,” I concede. “But then, I’m still entitled to at least one wish.” I’m not above wheedling a fairy godmother.
“You bet. Make it a good one, willya?”
“In that case, I need some more time.”
“My dear, you already have that, too. Well, toots, you know how to reach me.”
Of course I do. I still have that wish saved, too. And, so far, I haven’t needed to use it. Galexia was right, of course! Looking back over the last nineteen years, I know, everything did unfold almost as precisely as it should. Galexia was especially right about the part where she was confident that my three-day-old daughter was already perfect.
Learning to ‘go along for the ride’—now, that part is a lot harder than it sounds.
My daughter and I actually are close Though not in the fantasy way I first imagined—it isn’t Hallmark glossy. But most days I do think I understand my daughter, now a college sophomore. As she passed through the benchmarks of my original checklist, I grew to understand the difference between the brief short syllable ‘Ma!’, as in urgency, and the two syllable or longer version, which translates as very important, but not urgent, and sometimes as annoyed—or annoying. I know when she says “Mother…!’, it means “Back Off”, and I know when not to heed that directive. I know when not to take it personally, and when to call Galexia.
Iris Karas, a resident in western Massachusetts, of Organizing Elizabeth, a murder mystery and love story. Find out more at http://www.iriskaras.com
It’s my first Christmas as a Book End Babe. If you’ve joined our sorority of literary sisters, thank you. I’ve gotten to know so many of you in the short three months we’ve been around and I can’t wait to see what 2010 brings. I’ll be sharing more goals and plans for the book club in our New Year’s post, but for now I just want to show genuine appreciation for all of you who have bought books, read books, started a book club, hosted book clubs and take the time to invite and support your girlfriends and the arts. Stories are life and meant to be shared.
Merry Christmas Eve, Babes. I hope Santa brings you what you want this year.
xo,
Malena
by Malena Lott
I’ll admit, I get a little blue around the holidays, even though I’m an absolute FANATIC about Christmas. Most of my friends, even my much older friends, still have living parents so the childhood traditions are still kept intact. Memories are shared, photos taken and loved ones come in from near and far to get the in-person hugs and kisses.
I’m fortunate to have loving in-laws and wonderful sisters who still want to create our own celebrations even though our grandparents who raised us have passed on. I also concentrate on making special traditions for my children, which provides a lot of happiness. But am I still sad at times? You bet. So just imagine how people who have no family might feel? Those that are disenfranchised, who have just lost their jobs, or had to move to new cities and won’t be able to travel back home this Christmas?
Today I’d like for us to think about what we could do to pass on some cheer to others this year. If you know someone who has lost a loved one this year (or even in the past few years) or could be hurting, what could you to do reach out to them?
Our club is about celebrating friendships and stories, so let’s make those stories happier ones for those who are in pain this time of year. If you have some ideas on how we as individuals could do that, I’d love to hear about them in our comments.
Starter ideas:
Bake & deliver them cookies with a nice note
Take them out for coffee and looking at lights
Invite them to church with you
Invite them to your holiday dinner & ask them to share memories with their loved ones who have passed
Offer to help them do their holiday shopping
Book End Babes is Girls Night Out meets great reads, celebrating books and girlfriends. With real-life chapters around the country, we'll feature 4 Top Picks each month, share book reviews, recipes and prizes to start a reading revolution. The reviewed books are typically supplied by the publisher, though reviews are not guaranteed. BEbabes was founded by author Malena Lott. Our group blog features a dozen book babes. If you'd like to start a BEbabes chapter, click the envelope button below to contact me! 
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