Side Dish with Author Jackie Pilossoph

Posted on October 20, 2010 by Malena Lott

HOOK, LINE AND SINK HIM by Jackie Pilossoph

When I was in my late twenties/early thirties, like so many women I knew, I was dying to get married. I wanted prince charming to sweep me off my feet, marry me, have babies with me, and basically give me a happy, blissful life. That’s not being unreasonable, is it?

The problem was, I had this habit of dating guys who didn’t want to be married. I’d get into these relationships and after a few weeks or months, the guy would either A. Never call me again, B. Tell me he didn’t want to get serious or C. Start acting like a jerk so I’d break up with him.

I actually dated so many guys like this (commit-phobic men who think marriage is synonymous with prison) that I decided to write a book about it. And I chose to let all my ex-boyfriends tell the story. My chick-lit novel, HOOK, LINE AND SINK HIM is narrated by the main character, Jeff, a 30 year old guy who sprints from serious relationships. I was able to write the book this way because I know how Jeff thinks, how he feels, how he talks, because I dated like 10 of him!

HOOK, LINE AND SINK HIM is the story of two commitment-phobic guys who learn about love after starting a business helping women trick their boyfriends into getting engaged. There are so many colorful, wonderful couples in the book, but I think what you’ll truly enjoy is watching Jeff, the ultimate single guy who thinks married people are “suckers,” fall for Anna, the girl he just helped get engaged.

Lastly, you may be wondering, “What ever happened to Jackie? Did she HOOK, LINE AND SINK a guy? Yes. I got married and had two kids. Then I got divorced. The ironic thing is that now, years later, I have a boyfriend I love dearly and I have no interest in getting married! “If you like it then PLEASE DO NOT put a ring on it!” I say. I still believe in romance and commitment and even true love, but I’m good. I’m really happy. I’ve taken my fishing pole out of the water for now.

Thanks for stopping by, Jackie. What a wonderful title, cover and concept. This would be a great gift for girlfriends for birthdays or the holidays, too. Let’s sink in!
Babes, GET IT HERE.

Q+A with Author Julie Metz

Posted on October 19, 2010 by Malena Lott

interviewed by Malena Lott

The questions I asked Julie Metz, the author of our October Top Pick PERFECTION, are ones I would usually ask an author about a character in a novel, not about someone’s personal life. Julie is the character. Her late husband plays both the love interest and the antagonist. She found out about his infidelity after his death, and her story takes us through that journey. I love memoirs because they can show us real courage through tragedy. Julie, thank you for sharing your story through the book and by being our guest today at Book End Babes. Join me in welcoming her.

Q: Writing about such a personal tragedy had to be both therapeutic and emotionally trying. How did you get through the tough times writing the book?
A: The writing experience was very intense and emotional. Since writing a book is all about rewriting and revising there were particular passages that were truly painful to revisit. But ultimately being patient and persistent really helped. Each time I worked through a section, I became calmer and I gained insights that I hoped I could share with readers.

Q: You found out about your husband’s infidelity after his death. What would you have done if you’d discovered it before he died?
A: It’s hard to know what I would have done. If he hadn’t died, I would have been much less informed about what was going on. He would have been able to control the narrative to a certain degree and I wouldn’t have had access to his journals or e-mails. Looking back to then, I know I had so much invested in my marriage and in my identity as a wife. I think he would have tried to persuade me to give him another chance and I think I would have given him that chance. I would have wanted to try for my daughter’s sake. But with my present understanding of how deep our troubles were I do not think our relationship would have lasted long-term.

Q: Oprah has said, “you are not your mistakes”. What did you come to realize about your marriage after the fact?
A: Over time, I found that I had compassion both for my husband and the self-destructive choices he made and for myself, being blind to what had been going on. He and I both made mistakes. I have tried to start over with an understanding that I will still make mistakes every day. I feel genuine sorrow for my husband because he did not have a chance to do the same.

Q: What did you learn about yourself through this ordeal?
A: I learned that I was tougher than I thought I was, but I also came to understand the importance of asking for help when you need it.

Q: What advice do you have for wives who may suspect their husbands of cheating?
A: I think that if you have a nagging feeling of trouble in your relationship you should honor that feeling. However painful it might be, it is better to open your mind to the idea of what might be going on than to shut yourself down. Some marriages can survive infidelity, but the sooner you confront the issues in your relationship the better, whatever the outcome might be.
Don’t panic, though you might feel that urge. Find someone you can talk to openly about the state of your marriage. This might be a friend, your mom, or perhaps a professional therapist if that is a resource available to you.
Be patient with yourself. However bleak things might look, you can make things better for yourself. You are stronger than you think!

Thanks again, Julie. Book babes, you can buy Perfection by clicking on the cover in the sidebar. It would definitely provide great discussion for your next book club! – ML

5 Key Phrases to Keep Love Alive

Posted on October 12, 2010 by Malena Lott

Guest post by author Laurie Puhn, J.D.,
Author of Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In

Today’s busy multi-tasking couples have little time to invest in their relationship. In my couples mediation practice it’s no surprise that many people reveal they have lost that loving feeling for their spouse. I tell my clients: it’s only natural for love to disintegrate over time, unless you work at keeping it alive. Sound hard? It’s not.

You can keep the connection strong with 5-minute conversations and simple comments that show you care. You don’t need lots of quality time together. In fact, you and your partner don’t need to talk more, you simply need to learn to talk better. Below are 5 key phrases that will instantly ignite a loving bond. In my new book, “Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In,” you will discover many more simple strategies to give you the love, respect, appreciation and companionship you want, from the partner you have, for a lifetime.

1. Key phrase #1: “You are such a generous person”
Many people compliment the superficial things in others: “You look great in that dress” or “I love your new haircut.” External compliments are nice, but research shows that people prefer compliments for internal character traits such: “You’re such a kind, helpful or thoughtful person.” In the on-line survey we did for my new book Fight Less, Love More, we found that 84% of people want their mate to compliment them for being kind rather than good-looking.

3. Key phrase #2: “I never thought of it that way”
Want to put a smile on your mate’s face? That’s simple: After your mate has explained his/her viewpoint on anything from a current event to your child’s behavior, ponder the comment and say, “I never thought of it that way.” It’s the respectful way to say that their opinion matters to you (even if you don’t agree with him or her). Once someone senses that you respect their ideas, they are more likely to listen to and respect yours.

3. Key phrase #3: “Good night”
In our on-line study we found that 25% of the couples surveyed don’t bother to say “good night” to their partner. Fact: Of those who forget to say goodnight, 70% thought about ending the relationship in the last year. If you and your mate aren’t going to sleep at the same time, make it a habit to find your partner before you retire and say two caring words: “good night”. And why not add on “I love you”?

4. Key phrase #4: “Thank you for ____”

Each day find something to thank your mate for. If you have trouble finding something, ask yourself, “what did he/she do today that I didn’t have to do?” Answers could be: take out the garbage, help your child with homework, pick up a pizza, etc. When your mate does something you expect him/her to do, it’s still worthy of appreciation.

5. Key phrase #5: “How did it go?”
A little bit of remembering shows a lot of love. If you know your mate has an important meeting, doctor appointment, etc., be sure to follow up with your partner. Call, email or text, “how did it go?” This sends a clear message: I care about you.

The values we hold dear to us: respect, appreciation, compassion, loyalty and companionship are fostered or destroyed every day by our word choices and actions. If you use these 5 key phrases you’ll see a quick improvement in your relationship. Use more of the 5-minute strategies found in my new book Fight Less, Love More and you can expect to get the love you want, from the partner you have, for a lifetime!

Author Bio
Laurie Puhn, JD, author of Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In is a Harvard-educated family lawyer and couples mediator with a private practice in Manhattan. She has made numerous national television and radio appearances, including the Today show, 20/20, Fox News, CNN, and NPR, and her advice has appeared in such magazines as Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Real Simple, Women’s Health, and the New York Times. She also conducts empowering relationship communication seminars and workshops nationwide. Visit her online at www.lauriepuhn.com. Follow the author on Facebook and Twitter.

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(Happy Launch Day, Doc!)
Let’s give her a sales boost by buying this worthy book today! BUY THE BOOK HERE. – ML

Oprah + Franzen, Take 2

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Malena Lott

by Malena Lott

Are you on board with Oprah's book club pick?

As a book club (and a book club that promotes reading whatever strikes your fancy), Book End Babes is thrilled that Oprah has a book club, period. She has a big voice, a world-wide audience, and she gets people to bookstores. I’d heard mid-last week that Oprah selected another Jonathon Franzen book (her 2001 choice, Franzen’s The Corrections never made it onto her show because he didn’t want her logo on his book. She disinvited him.) This time around, she told her audience on Friday’s show that the author sent her a galley with a personal note, so I’m guessing that was his way of apologizing. I mean, not everyone that sends a galley to Oprah gets it into her hands. He’s a big literary deal, and I really want to be on board and love his books, but I gave up on The Corrections after a page that was one looooong sentence. My daughter talks like that, but she’s a kid and I don’t know what she’s saying half the time. Oprah said of his new book, and her fresh pick, Freedom, that it would be one of our favorite reads of all time. Somebody tell me when it gets to the good stuff, because I’m not feeling anything differently reading it as I did reading the last one. Does it take away his brilliance? Absolutely not. Whoever among us claims to the scion of good literary taste should be drug around back for Tony Soprano to take a whack at you. I’ll let the New York Times drool over Franzen, while I keep my pom-poms high in the air for the stories that do for me what Oprah’s picks do for her.

I don’t even think it’s an issue about literary versus commercial fiction. To me, fiction is fiction, a story a story, and if it works, it works. I suppose Oprah is looking for BIG stories, but I’d just as soon have her select a steampunk novel. How cool if everyone was reading Gail Carriger’s books at the same time. Or, insert some book you thought was fresh and cool that not enough people know about. That’s about 99% of all books out there! The ones who get the big ad budgets and get the attention of the big media (and big voices like O’s) get the sales.

One person’s BEST THING EVER is another’s MEH. As the editor at Book End Babes, I get a lot of books in the mail, though only a tiny fraction compared to my husband’s mail call each day for his site Bookgasm. Combined, I get to peruse at least twenty new titles a week. I give new authors a chance all the time. I love to discover new voices, which is, I suppose, what rubs me a little wrong about Oprah’s choice. She could’ve made someone’s career with her selection, yet she chose a book that’s already had huge buzz, huge best-seller status and I was really hoping for her to help me find someone new to love. Yet, does one actor deserve to win the Academy Award twice? Sure, why not? If she wants to give the same author her coveted seal of approval, it’s her show. I often recommend sophomore and junior efforts here on BEB of authors I think are hitting home runs again and again.

And this is your book club. Sure, we want to be your resource to find out about great books. We list four good reads all month long in the sidebar, and they aren’t all women’s fiction, either. Our Bookettes, our featured bloggers, also introduce our readers to books they have loved. What I care most about is that you find something you connect with and then share that with people in your life. Each of us can light a spark. As always, we welcome authors to discuss their lives here. We genuinely want to get to know readers and authors and share the stories of our lives. Our real estate is yours.

Thank you for reading whatever you choose, as often as you can. If you’re reading FREEDOM, we’d love to hear your thoughts on it. If you were Oprah and could get millions to read a book of your choosing, what would that book be?

Q&A + giveaway with author Jane Porter

Posted on August 28, 2010 by Malena Lott

BookEnd Babes Summer Sizzle Saturdays Q&A with Jane Porter who talks sand, surf and SHE’S GONE COUNTRY, her newest release. I’ve met Jane in person, and she’s a true sweetheart. I’ve read all of her modern lit books and am pleased to recommend them. -ML

Q: Thanks for being a part of our Summer Sizzle Saturdays. What’s your favorite summer activity and favorite summer destination?
A: My favorite summer activity is reading–although that’s definitely trickier with a 14-month-old running wild–and my favorite summer destination is my home in Hawaii, on Oahu where my man lives and operates his surf school. We do this crazy bi-coastal life (Seattle and Honolulu), but in summer we all get to be together in our beach house.

Q: Tell us briefly about the writing process for this book.
A: She’s Gone Country is probably one of my favorite books I’ve written due to the characters, conflict, and Texas setting, but I wrote it in the first 5 months after my son’s birth which was grueling. Mac had severe acid reflux as an infant and couldn’t keep anything down, and therefore couldn’t put on weight. He was always hungry, crying, wanting more and I was trying to write and nurse on months of next to no sleep. I wouldn’t want to do that again!

Q: We’re ready to have a pool party with your characters. Give us your main character’s names and a one-line definition for us to get to know them at our pool party.
A: Shey Darcy and Dane Kelly grew up in rural Texas on neighboring ranches and have always had a strong connection but life, work and family have kept them apart, but Shey’s now back in Texas as a single mom of three teen boys, and there’s a lot of unfinished business between them.

Q: Book End Babes is all about girlfriends and great reads. What are some of the themes we could explore in your book?
A: A lot of my books have connected characters–girlfriends who went to school together or grew up together or now live near each other–and this one is no exception. As a single mom grappling with lots of life changes she neally needs her girlfriends and the women in her family’s moral support. Probably my favorite theme in SHE’S GONE COUNTRY is that of empowering women and using your strength and success to help girls achieve their dreams, too.

Q: What is a “must read” book in your beach bag this summer?
A: I’ve got The Help tucked into my beach bag and it’s wonderful. It’s the one book I really want to read this summer!

Thanks, Jane. I’ve always been a big fan. Babes, BUY THE BOOK HERE or at your favorite retailer. Leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of SHE’S GONE COUNTRY.

Website: www.janeporter.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/authorjanep