Last week I packed lunch boxes, loaded backpacks with supplies, laced up new shoes and walked both my children to their classrooms. At promptly 9:00 AM the bell rang and just like that, a new school year had begun.
This year I have a fourth grader and a Kindergartener. Till now I’ve felt fairly superior in my homework-helping skills. My spelling is above average, I can rattle off multiplication tables with ease and if you ask me to, I will gladly list all fifty states in alphabetical order. . . in under a minute. Over the summer, however, I noticed a few chinks in my armor. The humiliation began one evening as we watched the charming little program, “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.” As comedian, Jeff Foxworthy, lobbed question after question at the TV audience I felt myself slowly sinking in to the couch. When my son insisted, “Geez! Mom, that was a fourth grade question. Shouldn’t you know that?” I simply kept repeating, “well, yes, of course I DID know that at one time but now it’s just. . . gone.”
The information was there at one time. I took tests, finished high school, even graduated college for heaven’s sake so how can I not remember the difference between a rhombus and a trapezoid triangle? Thankfully I’m not alone. A few weeks ago I was a contest winner on my friend Suzanne’s live web chat. The prize, a new copy of “Homework For Grown-Ups — Everything You Learned At School And Promptly Forgot.” Weary parents take note. This book should be part of your personal homework arsenal. You know, the arsenal that includes a sharp pencil and a stiff drink? Yes, that one.
Homework For Grownups is divided in to nine categories including English Language and Literature, Mathematics, Home Economics, History, Science, Religious Education, Geography, Classics and Art. Halfway through the book there is even a tongue-in-cheek section on Recess where authors E. Foley and B. Coates, explain rules to the game Rock-Paper-Scissors and give step by step directions for folding a perfect paper airplane.
This book is the mother of all CliffsNotes. In a mere 351 pages, Foley and Coates summarize everything you learned in grade school and high school and they make it entertaining. In the chapter on English/literature, not only do they review common misspelled words and grammatical mistakes, they also have a section entitled, “Speed-Reading: A very Short Guide To Some Key Works Of Literature.” Classic books are listed with a two-three sentence summary and the result is often hilarious. For the William Golding staple, “Lord Of The Flies,” this description is given: “Schoolboys survive plane crash but quickly start killing each other and end up crying on the beach.” Clearly some details are missing but the key elements are there.
This weekend I combed through the book, intrigued by all the facts I’d forgotten that were fun to read again, and relieved at how much I really did remember, I just needed a little brain jog. “Na” is the abbreviation on the Periodic Table for sodium. Yes, yes, I knew that, I knew that! The book is designed to be used as a reference guide with helpful tables, charts, graphs, and definitions for every topic. It’s fun AND educational. In my opinion it should be required reading for anyone over 25, especially if they plan on going on a televised game show in front of millions of people. In fact, now that I’ve read through the book and had a little refresher course, “come on, Foxworthy, let’s dance.”