Basket Case

Basket Case

by

Carl Hiaasen

Everybody has bad days… You know, those days when the bastardos have carborundum-ed you. Maybe it involves your boss, a co-worker, or perhaps the barista-in-training when you just want a &#^!% cup of coffee. You get the point. I had such a day and decided that it was time to find a book that can inject a bit of humor in my life. It seemed humor was badly needed. After all, if you can’t laugh at life (or some of the people in it) then what’s the point? I ended up following a recommendation on Amazon for entertaining authors and started reading Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen.

The story involves a former investigative newspaper reporter named Jack Tagger. Jack was relegated to the obituary department following an insulting outburst aimed at the new owner of his small Florida newspaper. Jack’s only creative liberty is writing articles for the more high-profile deaths in the county. As Jack sulks and dreams of his former glory, an ex-hairband rocker named Jimmy Stoma turns up dead in a drowning accident. Jack interviews the widow and soon becomes convinced that Jimmy’s death was not accident. The widow seems more concerned about her upcoming record then with her husband’s passing. Jack tries to convince Emma, his 27 year-old editor, about his feelings about Jimmy’s death but soon finds himself having feelings for her as well. Emma needs a story for the paper, but Jack needs more time. Jack soon finds himself in the middle of a murder mystery, an unplanned love affair and some real danger. Will Jack find the truth behind the death of Jimmy Stoma? Will his romantic interest end his career? Is it too late to win back his role as an investigative reporter? Will the Cubs ever win the world series?

The best part of this book is the humorous language that Carl uses to tell the simple but intriguing story. Carl delivers a bit of dry humor at every turn. Even serious moments seem to evaporate into head shaking laughter. The characters always seem to find themselves in some uncommon yet funny situations. At one point, Jack must use a frozen lizard as a weapon to fight off an intruder! The dialogue between characters is also a treat. Carl blends cliché with self-deprecating humor in a way that makes the characters come alive in their own special way. The book has a little bit of everything that one would expect from an entertaining novel that doesn’t take itself too seriously. It helped me not to take life (and the bastardos) too seriously either. I hope you enjoy it.

The Temptation of Your Touch

Link

When did gothic romances become unpopular? You know the ones I mean; the crumbling castles, the jagged cliffs where the ground can disintegrate beneath your very feet only to send you flying over the edge to a horrifying end.

Where the dead heroine’s portrait is bound to the sale of that monstrosity of a castle, where she roams the night, leaving behind scented jasmine in her wake. The faint sounds of a music box and long ago laughter.

**sigh**

Yes, where have those novels disappeared to?

Well, I can lead you to one that will keep you awake at night. If you read any of Teresa Mederios, you know that she delivers with outrageous wit and, in this case, intrigue. And, it works. How the hero and the heroine lecture each other, then insist on punishing themselves, depriving themselves of any words or actions of comforts of their own. Instead, its guilt in their respective lives, so deep, though each can see the nurturer in the other so clearly.

Ah, but this might all sound like the same old story, until—

He sees her at the edge of the cliff. He runs for her but he’s too late. . she’s throws herself over. What does a real hero do? He throws himself after her, of course.

I really do miss gothic romance. Have fun with this one. You’ll love it. —Kathy L Wheeler

And the “Winner” Is…

While Oscar buzz is dominating the media and all social sites, my favorite nomination came from the Razzies – the infamous awards given to the worst that cinema has to offer. Ordinarily, I would not take part in something so snarky and sarcastic… Wait, no – that’s exactly what I take part in… But the reason this has so fully captured my attention is for one horribly cast Katherine Heigl. Yes, I’ve had it out for her since she offed Denny in Grey’s Anatomy, but in this case, she’s truly taken the Tasty-Kake.

I have read, re-read, waited for, and bought (in hard cover) every novel in the Plum Series by Janet Evanovich. For those of you unfamiliar with these relative masterpieces, Stephanie Plum is a woman without a career who turns to the family business of bounty hunting to feed herself and her pet gerbil, much to her mother’s chagrin. She keeps her gun in her cookie jar, relies on two terribly attractive men to help her out of many situations, and destroys more vehicles than a monster truck rally. However, somehow, she always gets her con. Imagine the sheer joy I felt when I heard that the first instillation of this series, One for the Money, would be made into a major motion picture! How could this possibly go awry?

Answer? Katherine Heigl. Through the eighteen (18!) books that Evanovich penned in the Plum Series, I constantly imagined Sandra Bullock nabbing naked bad guys, working a New Jersey accent, and assisting her grandmother in fouling up more than one memorial service at the local mortuary. Never in my wildest dreams did I see Dr. Izzie Stevens parading around with a pair of handcuffs and a stun-gun, stumbling through line after line of priceless screenplay. She’s too… Well, she’s too Izzie.

Don’t get me wrong; the producers got a few things right. Jason O’Mara as the hunky Irish-Catholic cop who somehow maintains an on-again-off-again relationship with the quirky Plum is spot on. Daniel Sunjata as the incredibly sexy Ranger, the mysterious man of Stephanie’s most delicious dreams? Yes, please. And Shari Shepherd as the lovable working girl-turned-stand up sidekick? Nothing short of perfect. They were SO close!

I nearly cried when I heard of the film’s leading lady; this is how attached I am to my Plum goodness. I vowed to try, to maintain some hope for a viable outcome. And I did – I did try. I could not make it through five minutes of the mockery this… this woman made of my beloved Evanovich classics. All of the soft-core sexiness, the clutzy funny girl action, the beauty of the ‘Berg… Lost. I can only hope that the next novels can overcome the image of a bounty-hunting Heigl that is forever burned into my brain.

Holy Moly…

I have a confession. I have a dark and twisty sense of humor. I tend to be a little morbid. A little weird. Sometimes inappropriate. This, dear friends, is why I tend to like Christopher Moore novels. But I’m also a woman of faith and that is a big part of who I am.So when a friend lent me the Moore book, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal, I was tentatively excited. You see, I adore the bizarre worlds Moore creates, such as the one in which an ancient giant lizard creature comes ashore and attempts to mate with everything in sight. And my humor has often been called irreverent. But I felt weird about reading a book that seemed sacrilegious, I mean, we all know Jesus didn’t have a friend named Biff. His BFFs were Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. But this was a Christopher Moore novel, not intended to be a true gospel so I read it, and I’m so glad I did.

In Lamb, Biff is resurrected by an angel on orders from God so that he can transcribe his gospel, which fills the world in on those 20 years of Jesus’ life not covered in the Bible. Biff refers to Jesus as Josh, because in Hebrew, the name Jesus was really Yeshua (Joshua). Biff and Josh become fast friends although Biff is always creating some mischief that creates issues for his holier-than-thou (literally) friend. From the time they are children Biff is amazed at the miracles his friend performs, from resurrecting lizards and eventually, people, to turning water into wine. Despite his love for his best friend, Biff always wonders if Josh really is the Son of God but is unwaveringly loyal, no matter what doubts he may harbor.

Josh becomes convinced that finding the three wise men who presented him with gifts after his birth will help him discover his true destiny. Biff sets off to help his friend and in the course of the next twenty years they meet up with each of the wise men – all of whom have a lesson to teach. These lessons become the basis of Josh’s ministry back home when he and Biff finally return to Nazareth.

Before leaving, they find themselves entangled in a love-triangle with Mary Magdalen, also known as Maggie, who both boys love (though Josh knows he can never be with her) and who loves both boys. They also meet up with John the Baptist, Josh’s strange but lovable cousin who also had a prophetic destiny. In their adventures throughout China and India to find the wise men, they study “magic”, master Buddhist meditation (and meet a Yeti) and learn the ways of a Hindu Yogi. These life experiences and years spent with these wise men give Josh the knowledge he needs to return home and become a proper Messiah.

The story is outrageous, sometimes offensive and quite a bit naughty – but it’s Moore’s trademark wacky that makes Lamb an entertaining read, even for a good Christian girl like me.

Interview with Eloisa James – BST author. Keep reading for my take on her latest – The Ugly Duchess

I have a different kind of post today that I know you will love. I’m privileged to host my first ever interview of this type with Best Selling Author, Eloisa James.

[KLW] When I read your “Mary Bly (a.k.a. Eloisa James) Talks to TIME About Her Literary Double Life” (http://entertainment.time.com/2012/05/18/mary-bly-aka-eloisa-james-talks-to-time-about-her-literary-double-life/) I am beside myself. The question that sticks is: “Your secret dual-identity life is remarkable. How did that start?”  I had been writing romance for a couple of years (and never spoke about it) until one of my friends joined me at jazzercise and mentioned to another member that we were romance authors. I can remember my mouth falling open, but the floor didn’t open, and I didn’t die. From that day forward, I have been proud to admit to reading and writing romance. And loving it. (Although, I admit I am still waiting for my big-time break.)

[EJ]  Kathy, Thank you for doing this interview! I’m honored to be your very first interviewee.  And I love the story of the big reveal in a jazzercise class.

[KLW]  It did catch me off guard, and have never regretted it since. Originally, I’d planned my questions around your education, but I see that much is already discussed in that vein, so I would like to start with the series of fairy tale stories that you’ve been working on since 2010. A Kiss at Midnight; When Beauty Tamed the Beast, The Duke is Mine, and most recently, The Ugly Duchess (which I believe might now be my favorite, I must say.) The stories are so creative. What gave you the story idea besides the actual fairy tale itself?

[EJ]  Inspiration comes (in my case) from two places:  first, from my own life, because the strong emotions in novels need to spring from the author’s own emotions, and second, from my reading.  I read all the time—in my genre and out of lit, fiction as well as non-fiction.  I think reading is the most valuable use of an author’s time. You never know when you’ll be reading and suddenly come up with an idea for a plot.  It even happens reading the newspaper!

[KLW] I agree. All I have to do is walk through the bookstore! Did you brainstorm with other writer friends?

[EJ] Yes.  My dear friend Linda Francis Lee and I meet about once a week for lunch.  We help each other thrash out ideas for plots and revisions.

[KLW] How many more of these types of tales can we expect to enjoy?

[EJ] My version of Rapunzel is due out in July of next year.  After that I’m jumping to a pair of books with a different premise.  But I think I’ll return to fairy tales, possibly with a version of Sleeping Beauty.

[KLW] Of course, every single one goes into my spreadsheet, titled “New Releases to Watch For.xls” (note: for my friends who make fun of me for being the “Excel Spreadsheet Queen”). . .but I digress. You speak of your mom’s declaration on her deathbed on your “writing a real book” (Your keynote speech at RWA a few years ago left me in tears), but what of your father?  Were his views similar to that of your mother?

[EJ] My father is a poet, so romance wasn’t really his thing.  But he isn’t as doctrinaire as my mother.  He has always thought it was great fun, and my stepmother actually read one aloud to him (skipping all the sex scenes).

[KLW] Perfect! Do your children show the same inclination toward writing, whether fiction or non-fiction?

[EJ] I think they both have great talent.  But whether they’ll use it for fiction or not… I don’t know.  They’re both teenagers, so right now it’s hard to imagine them doing anything productive with their lives.

[KLW] Well, said! You say your first book, written in 1985, was “turned down by every conceivable publisher. . .” What was the book, if you don’t mind my asking?

[EJ] It was called Passion’s Slave.  It was a wild story of a young English noblewoman who fell off a boat in the Seine, and ended up somewhere in the East, and met several shieks (this was the 80′s).

[KLW] Oh, my. Did you put it under the bed or stow it in the closet?

[EJ] It’s in my file cabinet right now!

[KLW] Did you work on it and eventually sell it?

[EJ] Nope.  It lives a silent, embarrassed life.

[KLW] If you re-read it now, would be you mortified, horrified, or laughing hysterically?

[EJ] Yes.

[KLW] Well, if all successful authors have one put in the closet, under the bed, or in the file cabinet, then I’m thrilled to see my time is near! I love your take on why you feel romance novels are so underappreciated, could you share those views with our readers and writers?

[EJ] I think that a cornerstone of this problem is equivocal attitudes in popular culture towards women’s desire.  There’s a lot of fear; you see articles to this day insisting that women should stop reading romance because it makes them dissatisfied with their husbands.  Well, sure—if a husband is disrespectful, filthy, or abusive, a woman might take a look at him and think, I can do better.  But most of the time, romance is an escape that actually makes “regular” married life easier!

I’m curious to see what happens now that Fifty Shades of Gray—an unequivocally “desirous” book—has been read by so many people, including men.  Will it make a difference to the reputation of romance?  It seems to me that it could go either way.  People were already very prone to asking me if I wrote “porn for women.”  Fifty Shades is, of course, more sexy than the average romance.  Will that work in favor of the genre, or will it lead to more denigration on the grounds of sexual content?

[KLW] I’m curious as well. I hold season tickets to Thunder NBA, and the guys who sit behind me asked if I’d heard of it. . .What a conversation that was, and at a basketball game!  Finally, congratulations on your non-fiction, Paris in Love. Will you be writing more non-fiction works in the future?

[EJ]I might write one on Florence—I’ve been staying every summer there for the last twenty years.  I have a lot of stories!  But writing non-fiction is hard, and I’m staying away from that for the moment.

[KLW] I am proud to admit I read and write romance. And, I believe its women like you who make it possible for authors like me to hold their heads high. On behalf of romance, readers and authors, alike, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart and the tips of my fingers as they fly across the keyboard.

[EJ] Thank you!  Eloisa

Look for Ms. James latest release, The Ugly Duchess.

The Ugly Duchess – Eloisa James

Well, I feel somewhat breathless and awed. Can you picture me with my palms on my flaming cheeks trying to calm myself?  Ms. James is so. . .so. . .oh, I don’t know, down to earth, enchanting, like a real person! (Excuse me for a moment while I take several deep breaths).

Ahhhh, there. I think my heart may be slowing to a more normal pace. I really do want to tell you about the The Ugly Duchess and Theodora Saxby. She quite stole my heart. Apparently, at nineteen she had not quite yet come into her own. I should know! I was an Ugly Duck—well, that’s another story.

Anyway, she was considered not so attractive by aristocracy standards. The sweet thing is, she knows and accepts as much. At least on the surface.  That’s what makes this such a powerful story. Psychology, because deep down it feeds on every insecurity she (and I)  harbors. Insecurities that are years in the makings.

She and James Ryburn, heir to the Duchy of Ashbrook have been the best friends since childhood. Unfortunately, just when James is ready to strike out on his own, sow his wild oats, so to speak, his father tells him he must marry. There is no money. And isn’t it just fortunate that Theo (Daisy, as James refers to her), is downright bursting at the seams—with money.

But James could care less. Let the dukedom go to hell! he says. But things were drummed into him since childhood too. And James finds out his father, who happens to also be Theo’s guardian, has been embezzling her fortune for years, it turns “ugly”.

And, now James has no choice but to marry her.

You know as much as I want to share what happens, I will not.

My advice? Have a box of Kleenex next to you when you start the book. You’ll need it. —Kathy L Wheeler