Love nothin’ better than a new book in bloom! Here’s the new one we picked for you! Got Kindle? Love funny? Check out Jenny Gardiner’s (@jennygardiner on Twitter) newest humorous novel, available as a Kindle exclusive right now. Be one of the first to read her book and let us know how you feel about this big tale of foodie love.
About the Book
In SLIM TO NONE, Abbie Jennings is Manhattan’s top food critic until her expanding waistline makes staying incognito at restaurants impossible. Her cover blown on Page Six of the New York Post, her editor has no choice but to bench her—and suggest she use the time off to bench-press her way back to anonymity. Abbie’s life has been built around her career, and therefore around celebrating food. Forced to drop the pounds if she wants her primo gig back, Abbie must peel back the layers of her past and confront the fears that have led to her current life.
With a strong yet delightfully vulnerable voice, food critic Abbie Jennings embarks on a soulful journey where her love for banana cream pie and disdain for ill-fitting Spanx clash in hilarious and heartbreaking ways. As her body balloons and her personal life crumbles, Abbie must face the pain and secret fears she’s held inside for far too long. I cheered for her the entire way.
—Beth Hoffman, bestselling author of Saving CeeCee Honeycutt
Satisfying as a Thanksgiving dinner at Mom’s. … Jenny Gardiner’s heroine gives us a sarcastic but provocative look at our love-hate relationship with food. You’ll eat this up in one sitting.
–AD HUDLER, bestselling author of Househusband and Man of the House
“Jenny Gardiner has done it again – this fun, fast-paced book is a great summer read.”
–Sarah Pekkanen, author of The Opposite of Me
Jenny’s back! Funny girl and author Jenny Gardiner pays us a visit with her usual snark intact to talk life and WINGING IT, in stores now. We’ve also posted a video so you can get to know the star of the book. I was blown away how well Gracycie can imitate her housemates’ voices.
If Oprah invited you on her show to talk about your book, what would the theme of that show be?
Um, how about What Took You So Long??? Actually I think I’d be so overwhelmed with undying gratitude I’d have to bring along a carload of food treats because I know Oprah would appreciate some homemade banana cream pie, maybe some amazing pound cake, I make a kick-ass pumpkin bread, too. The theme would be about plying people with food to please them…
What was the most fun scene in your book to write? The most difficult?
I enjoyed writing the scenes about crazy things Graycie has done–and she’s done plenty. Like when she’d snuck off the cage and I was trying to get her back onto it and using a broom to sort of “direct” her and she kept biting the broom and my ankles while repeating (in my voice) “Hello, Gray chicken!” (a little term of endearment I have for her).
The most difficult had to do with things that happened along the way. In my mind this was a story about Graycie but her life and ours are inexplicably tied together, so it became a memoir of my family as well. And it’s tricky writing about family without invading their privacy, so that was hard for me to strike a balance. And hard to revisit some of the tough things we’ve dealt with over the years.
Do you have a muse, good luck charm, writing vice?
Peanut M&Ms used to be my writing vice, but then I gave them up last year for Lent. Somewhere along the line, Mint M&Ms became my writing vice this year, but I gave them up for Lent. Today, it seems that Thin Mints are my writing vice. Are you beginning to see a pattern here? (I should definitely write at coffee shops, rather than at my desk right in the kitchen!)
What do you write on (type of computer, or notebook, etc.) and where do you write?
I have a MacBook and I usually write at home. My desk is basically in the kitchen (see above, bad food crutches) and in the main thoroughfare of the house, so it forces me to focus with external forces (i.e. kids, dogs, cat, parrot) are causing disruption, which is often. I love to work at coffee shops and when I really have to crunch on deadlines, I do that, though. But I feel guilty leaving the pets home alone all day so don’t do that regularly.
Have you had a “rock star” moment regarding your writing career? If so, what was it?
Well, maybe a peripheral one. I had the wonderful fortune of having Winging It be selected as a Pulpwood Queen’s book club book for this year, and that meant attending their awesomely fabulous Girlfriends Weekend in January in Jefferson, TX. The keynote speaker was an author whose writing I revere, and I thought at best I’d get a glimpse of him. But instead I got to join the other 30-odd writers who spent the weekend in the company of Pat Conroy, who is one of the most talented authors alive today, in my opinion. He was charming, gracious and thoughtful, he regaled us and the Pulpwood Queens with fascinating tales of his life as a writer and just funny personal anecdotes, and he even made a point of purchasing and having signed books from each author there. How cool was that?
What do you do to celebrate your writing successes?
Well, I’m never opposed to a nice bottle of champagne…And a lovely dinner out.
Describe your personality with five adjectives that would make your 5th grade English teacher proud.
“As sweet as a song and sharp as a beak, Winging It really soars as a memoir about family–children and husbands, feathers and fur–and our capacity to keep loving though life may occasionally bite.”
–Wade Rouse, bestselling author of At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream, and Confessions of a Prep School Mommy Handler
“Jenny Gardiner’s hilarious memoir will have you alternately laughing and crying, and watching the skies for winged pets out for your blood.”
–Kristy Kiernan, Award-winning author of Catching Genius
“With her right-on humor, Jenny Gardiner manages to make owning a vengeful parrot sound like fun! You don’t even have to like pets to like this book.”
–Eve Brown-Waite
Author of FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MALARIA
“This funny, smart book is much more than a story about life with a challenging parrot. Jenny Gardiner writes with humor and grace about the challenges and joys and stresses of parenthood, too. I loved it.”
–Sarah Pekkanen
author of The Opposite of Me
To get the book, click on the book’s cover in the sidebar.
My parrot wants me dead. She hates me. Proof is the triangular chunk of flesh now missing from both the front and back of my thumb, testament to the dangers of a beak that’s as powerful as an industrial metal-stamping die.
It seems where I’ve met with moderate success in parenthood–i.e. maintaining the upper hand in the relationship–I’ve failed miserably in parrot-hood.
Parrot-hood, you ask? Yes, in my case, that would be the state in which one must sustain a parrot.
Graycie, a too-smart-for-our-own-good African Gray parrot, came to our family from the wild, a Christmas gift from a relative living in Zaire 20 years ago. Graycie arrived on our doorstep–with a temporary stop in parrot prison (quarantine)–in good health but bad temperament. The first few years were arduous, as she was ferocious, snapping and growling at us when we got near. Who could blame her? Poor thing was chopped down from a tree and separated from her parents, stuffed into a crate with a hundred other terrified baby birds, and left to survive with little food or water.
Had I anything to say in the matter, I would have nixed owning a contraband bird from the get-go (back then most parrots ended up in the U.S. this way; shortly thereafter such means of parrot acquisition were banned). Nevertheless, I was determined to make the best of the situation, despite the fact that she arrived on the heels of the birth of our first child. I was having enough trouble dealing with the demands of a small human who needed my attention all day and night, so was ill-prepared to welcome a bird into the home who expected that and then some.
To some extent, Graycie’s redeemed herself over the years. She’s become quite the talker: she puts my kids in time-outs when they get sassy, yells at the dog when she tries to eat her, and answers the phone in my husband’s voice. Ditto his burps and sneezes. Recently when I used a broom to nudge her back onto the cage from the floor, she pecked at my feet and the broom while repeatedly saying, “Hello gray chicken!”
For a while Graycie got somewhat nice. She let us hold her, sometimes even stroke her feathers. Unfortunately she’d scoot up my arm and perch behind my neck, precariously close to that vital jugular vein and far too inclined to poop on my back, so I didn’t make a habit of such visits. Maybe that angered her.
Lately she’s lapsed into a phase of oppositional defiance that has me vexed (and mysteriously at the vortex of her wrath).
My friend is convinced Graycie needs a boyfriend. She is a teenager, after all. I’m convinced she needs anger management therapy. Perhaps, though, she is really a he and is tired of being called a girl (back when we got her, the only way to determine a bird’s gender was surgically, so we just guessed at it).
Whatever it is, I know this: what she wants most is to wound me. Often. When I clear the paper from beneath the cage, she races down to attack me, and gleefully rips my hair out. When I reach to open the perch on top, she’s there before I complete the job, straining as far as her body can reach in order to take a chomp my way. When she sneaks off the cage on her frequent surreptitious walkabouts, she attacks my ankles and feet as I try to catch her and return her to home base. I’m the first to admit I can’t quite control her.
When I glance at her, she just gazes back with a cold, black stare that says, “You know I could snap your finger in half easier than you could break a Lorna Doone in two, beyatch.” And she means it. The old adage about not biting the hand that feeds you must’ve slipped right on past her.
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To read more about Graycie and Jenny’s escapades, click on the link to WINGING IT in the sidebar and visit her author site at www.jennygardiner.net.
Jenny will be back later this week in a special Book End Babes interview. She’ll also join us for a Twitter Wine+Book Chat on Thursday, March 25th at 5 p.m. EST.
March Top Pick author Jenny Gardiner steps into our babe-a-licious kitchen to cook up a recipe she thinks would be divine for your next book club!
GOAT CHEESE TORTA (from Jr. League Celebration Cookbook)
Makes 12 to 16 servings
2 (8-oz) pkgs. Cream cheese, softened
7-8 oz. Mild goat cheese
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 tsp. Snipped fresh oregano, or 1 tsp. Dried oregano, crushed
1/8 tsp. Freshly ground peppers
1/4 c. prepared pesto
1/2 c. sun-dried tomatoes packed in oil
1-2 slivered almonds, toasted
fresh oregano or parsley sprigs
stone-ground wheat crackers or thinly sliced baguette
Line a 1-qt. Loaf pan or souffle dish w/ clear plastic wrap. In a food processor bowl or large mixer bowl, combine the cream cheese, goat cheese, garlic, oregano and pepper. Process or beat w/ electric mixer until smooth. Spread 1/3 of the cheese mixture into bottom of pan. Top w/ the pesto, spreading evenly. Layer w/ another 1/3 of cheese mixture. Drain sun-dried tomatoes, reserving 1 tomato for garnish. Chop the remaining tomatoes and spread evenly over the cheese mixture. Top w/ remaining cheese mixture. Cover plastic wrap and press gently to pack the cheese. CHILL SEVERAL HOURS!
Uncover cheese, invert onto serving plate, and remove plastic wrap. Cut reserved sun-dried tomato into thin slices. Garnish torta w/ tomato, toasted almonds, fresh oregano or parsley. Serve w/ crackers or baguette. American Title III winner, Sleeping with Ward Cleaver, (Available now! – click on the book cover art to learn more about the book from Amazon.)
March is in like a LION with our lively top picks this month. We’ve got it all – politics, parrots, obesity and Ferris Bueller! See why we picked ‘em and check back all month long for special features on these gems.
First off, a hearty Midwestern thank you to authors Joanne Rendell, Jenny Gardiner and Jess Riley for taking the time to share their personal insights into “the sweet life” with our readers. These three authors are a big part of the reason I wanted to start Athena’s Bookshelf – to bring light to great books by great emerging authors. We’ll be back to more book reviews next week, including reviews for The Amend Sisters, Where Am I Wearing, And Never Stop Dancing and more historical romance.
And now, for my route to the sweet life, la dolce vita…
This is going to sound strange for an author to say, since stories live in our heads all the time, but the best way for me to experience the sweet life is to get out of my head once in awhile. I’ve always prided myself on being a thinker and my creative outlet is not only escape for me, but therapy. But what I realized last year, while reading The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, is that my brain was pretty much controlling my life, and not in a good way.
Do you ever have too many thoughts going on at once? Catch yourself worrying about the past and fretting about the future? Conjuring up drastic scenarios that may never come to fruition? Yeah…I pretty much rock at that. And it’s all well and good if you’re creating those things for conflict for your characters, but something else entirely if it’s about your own life. The stress pool is a cesspool.
By practicing keeping myself in the present moment as much as possible, the past and the future melt away (unless the present is purposely planning for a future moment.) What’s left is the glorious present – whatever I happen to be doing at the moment. Making bacon for my 8 year old’s farmer’s breakfast this morning. Concentrating on the bacon and visiting with her, and not thinking about the dozen other things I need to do this morning. Getting ready for my launch party yesterday, I listened to Oprah’s Soul series, instead of worrying if anyone would show up at the launch party. (Thankfully many did!)
We’ve all heard the saying, “don’t worry, be happy,” yet it’s much harder to live it. But I’ve found when I do, then everything in life is sweeter. I really get to savor the small stuff and simply be present. Now I have to rush. Can’t take the kids to school in PJ’s, now can I?
Be sure and check out my web site to enter two great contests ending in November, for an Italian Cafe CD perfect for your next dinner party or a Sephora Makeup Kit for yourself or as a Christmas gift for a girlie girl on your list. Need some holiday baking and recipe ideas? You’ll find my favorites on the site, as well. Thanks for supporting Dating da Vinci, and I wish you the sweet life this holiday season and beyond!
Our second guest author to help us celebrate the launch of Dating da Vinci by Malena Lott is Jenny Gardiner. Jenny, welcome!
La Dolce Vita. The sweet life. I think you can find no sweeter place in which to find La Dolce Vita than in Italia.
I’m a huge Italiophile. I’d never even been to Italy until about six years ago. I knew I’d love it—I adore Italian food, Italian wine and art. I’m fascinated by Italian culture. And Italian men? Need I say more? Besides that obvious selling point, I’ve been so smitten by the language of love that I actually started studying it several years ago. A somewhat impractical language on which to focus one’s attention, but it sounds so sensual, it’s music to my ears.
I didn’t know until I went there, however, that I would feel so very connected to Italy.
Italy is definitely my place to indulge in the sweet life. We’ve been back a few times since that first visit during the off-season. And because it was November in Tuscany that first time, we were relatively free of the manacles of hoards of tourists and instead could partake in the local life, even helping our hosts to harvest olives in their grove. And dining on homemade ravioli and veal straight from the farm of our host’s brother. Everything was local, from the olive oil to the wine to the boar meat to the vegetables.
In Italy, in many ways, life is much simpler. People work for a few hours in the morning, then take long, leisurely lunchtimes with family and friends. Maybe a siesta for a while. And return to work for a few hours later in the afternoon. Italians place a high value on the arts, take pride in their heritage and history, and work hard to preserve what was so that it will be there for the indefinite future.
My last trip to Italy was a sailing trip with my family and two families of dear friends—15 of us sailing the Aeolian Islands off the coast of Sicily. By day we sailed from island to island, swam in the sapphire waters, hiked smoldering volcanoes, and wandered through markets and local ruins. By evening, we’d throw together an antipasti platter made with only local salamis and cheeses, accompanied by hearty local wines. Then we’d dinghy ashore for leisurely meals of fresh pasta and seafood served by some of the nicest wait staff you’ll ever find. We finished with fresh desserts and local liqueurs, and returned to our sailboats to settle down to the gentle waving of the ocean all night long.
First Line: “The ad appeared in the “Stage” in the second week of September, when the Edinburgh Festival was officially over and real life made its unpleasant appearance again in the collective consciousness of the large number of unemployed young actors who populate the London area.”
Out-of-work actor and genial upper-crust slouch Hughie Venables-Smythe takes on the job of for-hire flirt to tempt doldrum-driven housewives in this clever send-up that takes the reader on plenty of twists and turns through London’s social strata. Tessaro’s campy fare turns London on its head, skewering the upper echelon of society while rooting for the underdog. Tessaro does a commendable job of quilting together plots and twists with agile facility.
The novel delves into the bigger notion of relationships and how these can be intertwined and how, ultimately, relationships are essential–even worth taking a chance on–whether or not they ultimately pan out.
For: Anyone looking for a clever, well put-together escapist novel. – Jenny Gardiner
IN GOD WE TRUST: ALL OTHERS PAY CASH by Gene Shepherd. My Latin teacher took a break from teaching Latin each year the week before Christmas break and read aloud to us from this wonderful memoir of Shepherd’s growing up in the midwest in the 1940’s. This book’s humor and evocative prose taught me so much about how a writer can immerse a reader in the subject to the point that the reader feels a part of it. Lovely, heartwarming book.
Book End Babes is Girls Night Out meets great reads, celebrating books and girlfriends. With real-life chapters around the country, we'll feature 4 Top Picks each month, share book reviews, recipes and prizes to start a reading revolution. The reviewed books are typically supplied by the publisher, though reviews are not guaranteed. BEbabes was founded by author Malena Lott. Our group blog features a dozen book babes. If you'd like to start a BEbabes chapter, click the envelope button below to contact me!