While Oscar buzz is dominating the media and all social sites, my favorite nomination came from the Razzies – the infamous awards given to the worst that cinema has to offer. Ordinarily, I would not take part in something so snarky and sarcastic… Wait, no – that’s exactly what I take part in… But the reason this has so fully captured my attention is for one horribly cast Katherine Heigl. Yes, I’ve had it out for her since she offed Denny in Grey’s Anatomy, but in this case, she’s truly taken the Tasty-Kake.
I have read, re-read, waited for, and bought (in hard cover) every novel in the Plum Series by Janet Evanovich. For those of you unfamiliar with these relative masterpieces, Stephanie Plum is a woman without a career who turns to the family business of bounty hunting to feed herself and her pet gerbil, much to her mother’s chagrin. She keeps her gun in her cookie jar, relies on two terribly attractive men to help her out of many situations, and destroys more vehicles than a monster truck rally. However, somehow, she always gets her con. Imagine the sheer joy I felt when I heard that the first instillation of this series, One for the Money, would be made into a major motion picture! How could this possibly go awry?
Answer? Katherine Heigl. Through the eighteen (18!) books that Evanovich penned in the Plum Series, I constantly imagined Sandra Bullock nabbing naked bad guys, working a New Jersey accent, and assisting her grandmother in fouling up more than one memorial service at the local mortuary. Never in my wildest dreams did I see Dr. Izzie Stevens parading around with a pair of handcuffs and a stun-gun, stumbling through line after line of priceless screenplay. She’s too… Well, she’s too Izzie.
Don’t get me wrong; the producers got a few things right. Jason O’Mara as the hunky Irish-Catholic cop who somehow maintains an on-again-off-again relationship with the quirky Plum is spot on. Daniel Sunjata as the incredibly sexy Ranger, the mysterious man of Stephanie’s most delicious dreams? Yes, please. And Shari Shepherd as the lovable working girl-turned-stand up sidekick? Nothing short of perfect. They were SO close!
I nearly cried when I heard of the film’s leading lady; this is how attached I am to my Plum goodness. I vowed to try, to maintain some hope for a viable outcome. And I did – I did try. I could not make it through five minutes of the mockery this… this woman made of my beloved Evanovich classics. All of the soft-core sexiness, the clutzy funny girl action, the beauty of the ‘Berg… Lost. I can only hope that the next novels can overcome the image of a bounty-hunting Heigl that is forever burned into my brain.