Lost in Time

Posted on July 21, 2010 by Elizabeth Cordes, D.O.

Review: Time Management from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern

One of my favorite lectures from residency was on “Unchangeables.” This list of core characteristics, thought to be unalterable, included such things as empathy, sense of aesthetics, sense of direction, being a “reader”, organizational ability, and sense of time. With the permission afforded me by this list, I have spend many years indulging in “tardiness.” I would tell myself, “I can’t help being late, I have an imperfect sense of time.” I routinely get lost in activities and lose track of time, or miscalculate how much time a particular activity will take, and I am always late. This defect in my “sense of time” has caused a great deal of consternation in our family as I am married to a man with a perfect sense of both time and organization. Needless-to-say, he doesn’t buy into my excuse nor does he care about “timeliness” being an unchangeable. So in an attempt to maintain peace and harmony in our home, I went in search for the seemingly impossible: a way to become aware of time.

What I found was a book: Time Management from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern. Ms. Morgenstern promises a “foolproof system for taking control of your schedule and your life.” What she delivers is a system of time organization that takes into account the individual’s quirks and shortcomings. She begins by having the individual do a “three level diagnostic” looking for particular obstacles, then teaches several pneumonic driven “take-charge” programs (WADE: write it down, Add it Up, Decide, Execute your plan; the 4 D’s: Delete, Delay, Diminish, Delegate). Ms. Morgenstern’s strength lies in her organizational expertise and she applies her strategies adeptly to “time.” While I will likely always struggle with accurately predicting how long it will take me to do a particular thing, it’s encouraging to learn and implement some strategies to prevent my particular time management challenges from derailing my entire day. If you find yourself frustrated at the end of the day, asking where the time went, this may be the book to help you “Analyze, Strategize, & Attack” your way into better time management.

Are you a Wander Woman?

Posted on July 7, 2010 by Elizabeth Cordes, D.O.

Are you always searching for “something more?” Do you identify with any of the following drives or characteristics:

Extreme Confidence
Constant Need for New Challenges
Need for Recognition based on Performance, not gender
Greatest pleasures come from work place achievements
Learn best from Experience

Have you been frustrated by managers or situations that don’t challenge you to grow, provide opportunities for connecting, or sufficient validation? This may be the book for you.

Always searching for tools, tricks, and tips to share with my girlfriends and patients, I was thrilled when presented with the opportunity to review Marcia Reynolds’ Wander Woman. (obligatory disclosure: I received a review copy of the book at no cost with no obligation to provide a positive review) Going beyond the traditional call for finding “balance”, Wander Woman presents as a self-help book for “high-achieving women who are confident, ambitious, driven yet anxious, discontented, and above all, restless.” This book succeeds in this endeavor and is a fascinating character study as well.

Dr. Reynolds begins by defining what constitutes a “Wander Woman” and explores the conditions that have contributed to the formation of such persons. She then describes the process of “intentional transformation” and does a beautiful job of elucidating the many archetypes that characterize the various aspects of one’s personality: the Victim, the Saboteur, the Rebel, and so on… Dr. Reynolds utilizes her masterful coaching expertise to provide specific exercises to aid in the discovery and development of these aspects of personality, provides instruction on correcting distortions of thoughts (“debunking your assumptions”), as well as gives specific directions on how to gain useful insight through the technique of “Appreciative Dialogue.”

Although I initially was interested in this book as it would apply to others, I quickly found myself relating to this Wander Woman phenomenon…with one exception: I no longer feel the need to “wander.” I was fortunate enough to find and create the conditions I needed for contentment and fulfillment in my personal and professional life by becoming self-employed. This solution, while appropriate in my situation, is not an option for many. Fortunately, this book guides women through the process of self-discovery and provides specific resources for developing a “conscious strategy to find your direction and plan for your future.”

I recommend this book to any woman interested in introspection, not just those who set out to become “high-achievers.” Wander Woman is full of great insights and is a wonderful exercise in personal development and transformation for any woman who wants “to know what they can accomplish in this lifetime without feeling exhausted and lonely in the end.”

(from the publisher)

Dr. Marcia Reynolds is fascinated by the brain, especially the nuances of the female brain. She is a master certified coach with a doctorate in organizational psychology, focusing on the needs and challenges of smart, strong women in the workplace. She travels around the world speaking at conferences and teaching classes in leadership, emotional intelligence and organizational change. Her book Wander Woman: How High Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction was released this summer.

You can read more about the book at wanderwomanbook.com and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter.

Wellness Wednesday: Thinking Like a Thin Person

Posted on June 16, 2010 by Elizabeth Cordes, D.O.

It’s summer! It’s that time of year when temperatures rise, clothing covers less, and thoughts turn to having the perfect “swimsuit” body and that favorite of four-letter-words: DIET. While there are a multitude of books available promoting weight loss; most are based on unhealthy fads that do not translate into long-term weight loss. Most of these tomes tell what magical mixture of foods, or lack thereof, will cause the pounds to melt away. The only problem is that, once you return to your normal pattern of eating, the pounds find their way back home and bring their friends. A few years ago, I was faced with a diagnosis of diabetes and the reality of needing to lose 35 pounds on a permanent basis. I set out to find a way to change not only my eating habits but, most importantly, how I thought about food. Fortunately, I discovered Dr. Judith Beck’s “The Beck Diet Solution.”

Dr. Beck’s book seems unique in the weight loss genre: it doesn’t suggest any particular diet or exercise program. It promises to work with ANY healthy diet and exercise plan. This book uses techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (a mental health technique created by her father, Dr. Aaron Beck, to treat depression) to identify the distorted thoughts that keep one from being motivated, disciplined, and successful. Dr. Beck’s book goes beyond “eat less and move more” and teaches how to do so when you don’t want to or when it’s not easy. People who struggle with their weight, says Beck, all have one thing in common: They don’t know how to think like a thin person – their behavior, mindset, lifestyle, and habits all sabotage their best intentions. For example, she writes, people often have thoughts such as “I know I shouldn’t eat this, but I don’t care,” or “It’s okay if I eat [this food] just this one time.” Permanent weight control requires a life long change in thoughts and attitudes while dealing with such sabotaging habits and behaviors. Three years later, I’ve been able to maintain the 35 lb. weight loss I achieved using her techniques. So before you sign up for hormone weight-loss shots or some other fad diet de jour, consider checking out “The Beck Diet Solution” and see if there are some sabotaging thoughts that are derailing your best intents and efforts. While you won’t drop “7 pounds in 7 days”, it certainly is more palatable than Dolly Parton soup and grapefruit for every meal.

Wellness Wednesday: Play to Your Strengths

Posted on June 2, 2010 by Elizabeth Cordes, D.O.

juggle-earth1 Each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality, tragically divided against ourselves. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

Women are wonderful and peculiar creatures. Despite unprecedented opportunities in all spheres of daily living, women are becoming increasingly unhappy, less satisfied, and less fulfilled in their lives. We got lost on the path to “having it all” when we believed that the only way to do so was to be perfectly balanced and accomplished in all areas: wife, mother, career, civic, and social. Because of this distorted belief, women have experienced unnecessary feelings of failure, self-doubt, and shame. When presented with an assessment of strengths and weaknesses, most women will immediately look to remediate their weakness instead of looking to use their strengths to their advantage. While this approach may be the proper path to becoming “balanced”, it is unlikely to lead to happiness or contentment. The answer might be found in becoming strategically unbalanced; that is, by shifting our lives more heavily to our areas of strength.
In his book, Find Your Strongest Life, Mr. Buckingham provides a different model for “having it all” (defined as “drawing enough strength from life to feel fulfilled, loved, successful, and in control) then provides a set of different “Strength” based tactics to accomplish this. He utilizes an online strength assessment to help determine “the role you were born to play.” (www.stronglifetest.com) Overall, this book is very accessible, addresses numerous real-life situations faced by today’s women, and provides workable solutions and suggestions for all. The shift in focus from “Balance” to “Fullness” by focusing on “capturing moments that bring strength” feels both intuitive and empowering. This book will be beneficial for all women who are stuck in the search for “elusive perfection” amid the bounty of choices available to us.
What areas of your life make you feel strong? What could you do to capitalize more fully on your strengths?

You Can Heal Your Life

Posted on July 10, 2008 by malenalott

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay

First line: “Life is really very simple. What we give out, we get back.”

I don’t doubt that metaphysics is real. It’s not about religion or even spirituality, though you could easily connect all the dots if you so wish. Hay’s philosophy espouses letting go of the past, loving ourselves, daily affirmations and other exercises to heal your life from the inside out. Including dis-eases. For those who believe in the mind/body/spirit connection, this will make sense, even if you may not feel comfortable at first looking in the mirror and telling yourself how fabulous you are, even when you are in physical or emotional pain. It’s not about ego, but about acceptance and positive results from positive thinking. While I’m not sure “holding on to the garbage of your past” can cause anal fistula and hemorrhoids, letting go of the past, with a nice glop of Preparation H, couldn’t hurt. Unfortunately, as we age we let the good mood of our youth sour, and tend to complain about the aches and pains instead of embrace the joy of the every day. For that reason alone, the book is worth the read.

For: Healing your life through new thought patterns.-Malena Lott

Buy it at Amazon.